I’d read what the Bible had said about submission. I’d read all the books about Christian marriage. I was emotionally and mentally prepared. I’d come to the conclusion that should Mike and I disagree on a matter … oh, say, something like whether or not we ought to move to Sydney or Nepal … I would behave as an Executive Vice President … after having thoroughly voiced my point of view, then praying about the matter, and finally, finding that we still disagreed, I would then submit to his decision. No problem!Read the rest of my post here.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
submission, part 2
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5 comments:
Hi Christine,
I really enjoyed reading your article and found it very thought-provoking, so thanks!
It did raise two questions for me however.
First, why is it that we so often define leadership in marriage in terms of decision-making? I'm not sure I'm convinced that that is the thrust of what the Bible is talking about when it calls for wives to submit to their husband's headship.
In thinking about this whole issue I often think of my parents who are both Christians and have been married for 35 years now. Both maintain that there has never been a time in their marriage where they have not been able to talk through a decision and come to an agreement. They have never needed to resort to my father just making the call.
Second, does biblical headship entail decision-making about where to put bowls in the kitchen? I hope that doesn't sound like I am making light of your example - I think its actually a very thought-provoking one, that raises lots of the issues. My assumption is that Mike did not consider his moving the bowls to be an expression of headship, but I am interested that you interpreted it in those categories. Would you mind expanding on that point a bit further to explain why that is?
My initial reaction is to think that a husband seeking to serve his wife in that situation might first have enquired why she put them where she did. Even if he thought there was a better spot, I tend to think that an appropriate expression of a husband's headship would be to love and serve his wife by allowing her the freedom to arrange things as she pleased.
I would love to hear your thoughts! Thanks again for the article.
should we comment here or on babble?
i think, anon, that christine is very much a plank-outta-her-own-eye kinda gal. maybe mike could have shown better leadership (over bowls!?) but i don't think that's the point.
christine, a question that this raises for me is where is the line between 'submission' and 'doormat'? (not that i'm implying that your behaviour was in anyway doormat-like!!)
in a worse bloke, a woman who was constantly letting him make every decision in her life would lead to the man taking selfish advantage of that. AND the woman's self-esteem would dive.
Hey, Christine! I really relate to your story. Understanding a thing in theory is not the same as putting into practice. It's these little points where it is such a struggle to distinguish between our selfish desire to have our way, our role as servants to our spouse and the practical side of whose convenience is more important. It's not easy to tell the difference in the middle of a situation. Thank you for sharing such a personal story.
Thanks for sharing this honest and real story Christine ;)
Hi
I was really hoping for a discussion here - I thought 'anonymous' made some very insightful comments. Would love to hear more from anonymous and Christine!!
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